Mum Guilt

Is there such thing as a balance that actually works when you're a working mum? I’d love to know if you’ve found one.

I’m a working mum. I have two jobs to try and fit in with the child care I have and my husbands working hours too. I work all day Monday and Friday as a receptionist at a local GP surgery and then evenings and weekends I’m a receptionist in an out of hours GP surgery. So altogether I work full time.

Of course I’m grateful for the money it provides for my family (the wedding and honeymoon was pretty much paid for by my extra income) and now looking to move house we are able to have a higher budget because we are both in full time employment.

But children grow so quick! How Stanley is almost in Year 1 already I do not know! This year has passed in a flash and it seems like yesterday I was crying because I didn’t want him to start school! I just look at Delilah and wonder where she has come from? How is she a proper little walking, talking person already? It just doesn't seem right, someone's pressed fast forward surely?

But as a mum, how do we get the balance right? How can we be there for our kids as well as provide for them? How do we show our faces at every school event and swimming lessons and sit down to read their school books every night as well as provide a lovely home they feel safe and secure in and days out that they can look forward to?

At the moment I feel like I have my balance a little off. I feel like I'm out the house working more than I'm at home. I feel guilty that I don't turn up to stay-and-play at the school every Monday like the other mums. I feel guilty that the short amount of time I am at home with the kids I'm pre-occupied by the fact I still need to do the housework, I still need to do the cooking and the shopping and we can't just sit and play. I feel guilty that my temper is short because I'm permanently tired.

But then I know that I'm going to work so we can have a bigger house in a nicer area. So that we can have family holidays and days out. And I know that we are setting an example and teaching them to have a brilliant work ethic in the future.

Once we have moved house I think I need to slow down a little and re-evaluate the situation. Perhaps cut my hours so I can have some more quality family time while these little ones still think it's cool to hang out with Mum.
I look at them and they fill me with so much pride! They are both completely perfect in their own little ways and I wouldn't change them for the world, so I guess I must be doing something right, right?

Thanks for reading, we hope you stick around

The Harmons x

No comments